I think the first time I realized I was going through the Dark Night of the Soul, I thought it was going to be done within a year or so. Maybe less. And now, almost 11 years later, I find that the Dark Night of the Soul is still having it’s way with me. I think movies give us the wrong impression that the Hero’s Journey will be completed in approximately 2 hours and popcorn will be included. Or if one is a more avid reader, perhaps the Hero’s Journey will take place over the course of a few days and be accompanied by some rain, hot cocoa, and a fuzzy blanket.
Those of us who have been trudging through the quagmire of the Hero’s Journey know otherwise.
All that is to say, here I am, years later, and still working out what needs to be healed, what needs to be remembered, and what needs to be seen, heard, and felt in order to get to the place that my soul desired to know when embarking on this human experience.
If you go back through any posts on IG or on my blog, you can find work I’ve been doing on a particular Archetype for going on a year now, I am sure. Some new aspects have come up for me that are presenting the crux of the issue to light for me to work on healing and understanding within myself. I want to share my process of how I heal things. I think I have a rather heady or intellectual approach to things, in order to get down to the emotional body and feeling part of things. So in case any of you are wanting a different way to process the thoughts in conjunction with the emotion, I am going to share here. My particular word that I am working with right now is “control”. But whatever you are working with can be substituted here. This is just a bouncing off place to get started with the process.
Right now, I have particular issues around the sacral. In this lifetime they began in infancy. It stems from flailing around in my crib and needing care. I used to disassociate and hover above my body to watch myself and provide emotional care. So this is the very beginning of the issue from this particular lifetime. I have now traced it back to “control”. In other words, I find myself in situation where I am out of control, I use weird tactics to feel in control, I seek out people who are controlling (subconsciously), etc. In order to get to a place of more alignment with myself, I use this kind of information to dive deeper. These are the questions (without the answers) that I ask myself to heal. As always, please take what is helpful for you and leave the rest!
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What does control look like to me?
What does it feel like?
What do I associate as its positive aspects?
What do I associate as its negative aspects?
Where do I feel like I have control in my life, if anywhere?
Where do I feel like I lack control?
What is the most prominent area of my life that I feel like I lack control in?
What are some things I do to feel like I am in control?
Do I manipulate to feel like I am in control?
What do I think it would feel like if I was in control?
What is my belief system around “who i would be” if I was in control?
Do I feel like I would be a good/bad person if I was in control?
When did I receive the information as a child that to be in control was to be “bad” or what squished down that aspect of myself?
What, if any, actions or words were given to me to swallow that made me disassociate from that aspect of myself?
When have I felt in alignment with control?
When have I felt out of alignment with control?
What actions or thoughts can I let go of to step into control?
What actions or thoughts can i take going forward to step into control?
Why does the idea of stepping into control sound so scary to me?
Why do I associate “control” with “domineering”?
What perspective could I see things from so that I can see how control does not HAVE to mean domineering?
How could I embrace control in my life and use it to propel my ideas and dreams into reality?
What is the worst that could happen if I was in control?
What is the best?
Do I feel I could be in control without harming my brothers and sisters, and why or why not?
How could I see things differently?
What does the opposite of control look like and feel like?
What are the positive aspects of control’s opposite?
What are the negative aspects of control’s opposite?
In what ways has control’s opposite served me?
In what ways has control’s opposite been a disadvantage or learning opportunity?
Step into observer self:
How does control look from here?
What does control feel like from here?
What colors and/or smells are connected with control from here?
How does control seem useful from here?
What do I need to learn about control from here?
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Thanks for reading! Many blessings to you and yours!
Yours in Oneness🧡Freedom