Portion of March 22nd journal/thoughts:
Today how I cope is totally different. I am still in bed. I lit incense first thing when the dogs wanted to go potty and I let them out. I picked up a dove that died. Heartbreaking. And natural. Both. And I made coffee and had breakfast in bed and got on instagram and now its 12:03 and I’m still sitting here in bed. It is just as unmade as I am, and I kinda want a nap.
Some things on my mind: In the area of what is in my control, how does the dove come into play. I mostly think about it like this. The dove is a sign, like dove Rx- something out of balance in my life. But the dove would have died whether I saw it or did not see it. I only saw it because it was somehow an external representation of something within that I needed to acknowledge. If I did not need to see it, would the dove still have died right there? Or would it have died somewhere that someone else could see it and get its message? I can’t get out of my head that everything means something. If only one thing I see means something, I feel that then all things must mean something. And if I create my own reality, then all things that I perceive must be something on the inside projecting outward. However, how I PERCEIVE what I see, is largely based on my beliefs, judgments, attitudes, and mood of the particular day in question.
Today, for example, I found it very sad that the dove had died and wondered how to tell my husband. I felt like it was telling me I am doing something wrong, or rather, I suppose, was trying to indicate something needs healing in my psyche. I guess with dove, the healing actually needs to be within my spirit. Anyhow. Another day, I would probably perceive the dove as a gift, still a message, but a message in form of a gift, and I would perhaps use its gifts for magic/healing of some sort. Some days I would see the dove as a part of a never ending cycle. I would notice how beautiful it was that it sacrificed its earthly shell to feed the other earthly beings that were now crawling on its eyeballs and beaks. I would see whom else this evacuated temple wished to serve. I would see all the particles in a dance of God.
But not today. Today I am sad.
And I am not sad. Because I am enjoying sitting in my bed and pondering.
I asked what the Dove represented and pulled Daughter of Pentacles: a message. (Daughter corresponds to Page) I’ve been receiving many Pentacle messages the last week, which isn’t my norm, per se. So I find her particular message unsurprising. I also pulled 2 other cards- messages from my Guides about the Dove and her meaning: Kiwi and Goose. The overall message for me is that I’ve been too OF the world and not enough IN it. In other words, I am not grounded. I am consumed by my daily tasks, to the point of losing my SELF. To reconnect I must disconnect. Rest. Do a walking meditation outdoors, perhaps through my garden. Rest. Rest. Rest. Breathe. Put the tasks to the side. Remember that all things will get done in their time. And it will be the appropriate time. Remember this:
“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them… and can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?” Matthew 6:26-27
(More musing followed, and I was fortunate to get to dive deeper in this thought chain with my friend over dinner last night. But this is all for now! Perhaps more later…)
Yours in Oneness🧡Freedom