Sugar High

A couple of months ago I finally moved fully into my goal of eating raw vegan. This had been a dream of mine for some time, as I’ve just always known intuitively raw diet was what was best for my vessel: mind, body, and spirit. I say that I kept hearing during yoga that I needed to eat raw from Spirit, and that is true, but it goes back even further. I knew this was my truth even when I was in the midst of my alcohol and drug addiction. Even when I was the kind of omnivore who claimed to like my steak so raw that it was “moo-ing” (for laughs from other omnivores, I suppose?). The real truth of it is that I’ve always loved animals, and have never been super fond of eating them. This I knew. But today I learned something wholly new to me. And it was not about meat, or dairy, or cooked per se… it was about SUGAR.

I actually have a belief that meat and dairy and alcohol and television and things of the sort are all connected in that they keep us distracted and away from our Higher Selves and disallow the pineal gland from becoming 100% opened. That they are the opiates of the masses. I have a belief that consuming these and similar things makes me to be a mindless drone in the illusory society program, that feeds on keeping the masses asleep so that these ego driven empires (the collective ego made larger than life) can satisfy the egoic fascination of wanting more and more and more. I have a belief that these kinds of things keep me from remembering who I am and who my brother is. And recently, I was even able to realize through dream work that coffee works in this manner for me as well. Keeps me in illusion.

I’ve always heard processed sugar was a drug, but I’ve never really felt its effects strongly first hand. I mean… I had. I must have. But I had NO IDEA. Today I had an impressive awakening about it.

Tonight I had dinner with some old friends. I was to bring dessert. We needed vegan for one, no tree nuts for another, and the rest were okay with whatever. I wasn’t really planning on dessert. I hadn’t had time to prepare anything raw, and a pear would work for me for dessert anyways. But Whole Foods had these vegan chocolate covered cookie balls and they happened to fulfill all of the dietary requirements. I had been wanting to try them for awhile, so decided to partake in one at dinner. HOLY WOW. Immediately following I super wanted to also eat the vegan cake we had brought. I didn’t, but I wanted it like I NEEDED it… like how in my worst drinking days I NEEDED alcohol to survive. Like full on jittery DTs sitting at the brink, ready and waiting to release their vengeance over me. (Not like the awful DTs I had… I drank a LOT… no hallucinations or cold sweats, but like I had to work REALLY hard to not consume it.) It was the EXACT SAME FEELING. We went for a walk. I thought it would help. It did for a bit. But when we came into the house all I wanted to do was to eat the entire rest of the cake and not stop. I was blown away! I ate 2 bananas. Still didn’t help. Drank a glass of water, and still all I wanted was to take the processed sugar and dump it down my throat and I had the same feeling like when I was coming down off a high and scouring my entire house for just one more pill or whatever drug I could find. For REAL.

I was in total shock. And I got the first headache I’ve had in a looooonnnnng time on my way home.

In our society, sugar is totally normal. “Treating ourselves” is “good”. Eating a vegan diet and making sure the sugar has no bone char etc. etc. etc.-that is like an idea of “healthy” to probably most of us… at least it had been for me for the last 5 years. And it’s almost taboo to slander sugar. Maybe even worse than slandering meat, or dairy, or coffee, or alcohol. To ridicule those things it is almost “normal” at this point. But let’s all scoot around the refined sugar thing. At least I always have. There is however one thing I desire way more than sugar. Way more than meat. Way more than alcohol. Way more than drugs. Way more than television. Way more than music that is designed to keep me in drone mode.

The one thing I desire most of all is to remember the Truth of myself.

To remember reality. To remember oneness. To move through the veil and past illusion. And I want to give myself the best opportunity to do so. When I hear Spirit, I listen. I take action. When I am in tune with my body, I hear. I feel. I know. I see. I am. Eating raw has helped me to become so in tune with my body and even more than I had realized until today. After this awakening, I realized that now I ALWAYS know what my body wants, and I easily provide it with the nutrients it needs. Right now for example, I just want water. I know when it wants protein, what kind of protein, when it does need a sugar (but a natural sugar found most likely in a piece of fruit), when it needs a sprouted grain, or nuts, or whatever. I just know intuitively. I also now can distinguish easily between when I am needing rest or food or water, and weirdly enough, I used to not. I THOUGHT I did, but I was generally wrong. I would eat and then be up all night or eat and not be satisfied and then finally move to a drink… and probably something sugary, no doubt.

And this isn’t to say I know anyone else’s path for themselves. I know the path for my Self.

I know what things matter to me and where my treasure is and where my heart is also.

One physical way I know if something will aid me or deplete me is by muscle testing. I do this with EVERYTHING. (And, no, I didn’t do it with this because I figured I knew my answer!) You can muscle test with foods, books, movies, cds, or whatever. Everything is energy. Muscle testing helps a person to know what is right for them. My husband and I muscle test all the things.

In case anyone reading is interested, there are lots of things to do to help release sugar and sugar cravings. One of the most helpful is fenugreek seed capsules. I personally also like bananas for this. And I still use other sweeteners- just so much less often. When I do I use Raw Blue Agave and Coconut Nectar.

Anyways. Today was freaking FASCINATING.

Thank you for you!

Yours in Oneness <3 Freedom

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